Begin by bringing a large pot of salted water to a rolling boil over high heat. Add the linguini noodles and cook until al dente, usually about 8–10 minutes. Stir occasionally to prevent sticking. Once cooked, reserve 1 cup of pasta water in a measuring cup before draining the noodles in a colander.

In a blender or food processor, combine the ripe avocados, egg yolks, chopped kale, garlic, olive oil, lemon juice, kosher salt, paprika, and cayenne. Blend these ingredients until smooth, scraping down the sides as needed.

With the blender running on low speed, gradually add the reserved pasta water, starting with a few tablespoons, and continue blending until the sauce reaches your desired creamy consistency.

Transfer the drained linguini back to the pot over low heat. Pour the avocado sauce over the hot pasta and toss gently, ensuring every strand is coated.

Fold in the crumbled bacon and freshly grated Parmesan cheese, mixing until evenly distributed. Taste the dish and adjust the seasoning with salt or an additional splash of lemon juice if desired.